You Don't Look Autistic

This is a common statement I hear if I ever tell someone my diagnosis. I use a service dog for my autism and my severe migraines and I am currently training his successor.  So, people are always curious as to why someone who can walk, speak and seems perfectly "fine," uses a service dog.  Most people assume I am training them for someone else in more "need." While it is no ones business, it is a common question.

Service dogs are trained to mitigate multiple different disabilities.  Many are visible and many are invisible.  Having one or the other or even both does not make us any less disabled. Just because you can't see my autism, does not make me not disabled.  My neurological conditions do not have a "look."  Autism does not have a specific "look." It does not usually affect the individuals physical features like other conditions such as Down Syndrome, Williams or Waardenburg Syndrome.  Autism can have physical manifestations such as motor skill delays and balance issues.  I personally have balance and gastric issues connected to my autism.  But, even these are not "visible" to the untrained individual.

Autism is a part of everything I do.  It is a part of me.  I don't come with a side of autism and cannot turn it on and off at will.  Autism partially makes me who I am, but that doesn't mean I should be singled out or treated differently. And I honestly prefer to be treated as everyone else.  Is this too much to ask? Apparently, in the United States, it is quite a bit to ask for.  There are autism stigmas everywhere.  Even the new Sesame Street character Julia empowers the stereotypes and stigma about how autistics should act.  We are all individuals and cannot be stuffed into a tiny box of absolutes.  We should be treated as individuals and respected as such.

The stigmas hurt us more than they help us.  Every fellow autistic I know and have come into contact with wants to be an individual. They also have very strong voices of their own and they want to be heard.  Does this mean every autistic is like this? No, but the adult ones I have met are.

So, the moral of this post is basically to think before responding to someones diagnosis.  Saying something like "You don't look autistic" is rude and assuming.  Don't put us in a small box.  It isn't easy for many of us to open up to people.  Please don't make our lives harder with assumptions.  Let us spread our wings and be ourselves.